As Luck Would Have It
by James K. Penn
Summary: The girls sense something's amiss when they witness Kuroi-sensei suddenly getting into random, loud, immature arguments with the school's new student councilor. One can only wonder what the reason is.
1. Chapter 1: Strangers in the night

**Chapter 1: Strangers in the night~ Exchanging insults~**

' _You are not a leftover, you are not a leftover, because I bought you..._ '

 _Chk-chk-chk, chk-chk-chk_

Nanako Kuroi, 27 years old

Bm!-Bm!

SINGLE

' _I'm going to go home...I'm going to eat a slice of this cake and...I'm_ not _going to cry! Not even a little!_ '

She could feel her eyes stinging already.

It just figured things would end up this way for her. The beginning of yet another New Year, and she had no one special to spend it with, with nothing else to do, other than sit at home, gaming it up, and getting ready for when school started again.

She wondered if it was because she wasn't outgoing enough. She hit the bar on a Saturday here and there, and there were people who knew her, so it's not like she wasn't social. Didn't women who usually did that manage to pick up a guy here and there, even if he was a little plastered? Not that she was that type. She just wanted someone. Someone special to her. Was that too much to ask?

Maybe it was because she came off as a lush...well if she did, she probably didn't look anything like the guy she was about to pass on her left.

He was sprawled out, his back slumped against the side wall of a shop, shoes just sticking out onto the path. With his head tipped forward like that, bangs covering his eyes, he would have made a pretty convincing corpse, if it weren't for his hand resting on the bottle stuffed in a brown paper bag, and the gentle rising and falling of his chest.

He wore a leather biker jacket, the classic looking kind, like what Fonzy or those outlaw bikers in America wore. His jeans looked a little dirty, but not too run down. He could have gotten them from a donation house or shelter.

And she thought she had problems. Finding a girlfriend was probably the last thing on his mind. Tired, beat and run down by life itself, just a hot meal and a warm place to sleep would be enough to bring him joy, the poor guy...

She couldn't do that for him, but there was something she could do.

She fished out a thousand yen bill and some spare coins.

' _Mm...I better not give him too much, or he might use it to buy more booze..._ ' she found this thought a bit ironic.

And then she remembered the cake in her hand, but hesitated.

' _Mmm...I bought this for personal reasons...but...he needs it more than I do..._ '

She set the cake next to his leg, with five-hundred worth in spare coins sitting on top.

' _I'm sorry, guy. It's not a hot meal, but it's something_.'

She wanted to think it was just another sign that her problems were only small worries in a vast world of issues, that she should be more grateful for what she had, and she supposed she could put it in that perspective, but when the pressures of life, romance and wanting to start a family came a-knockin', how could she argue that those were not important?

However, she had started the year off well with doing a good deed, and this good feeling was her reward.

Nanako smirked to herself, ' _I'm the 'Single Samaritan'. It has an odd ring, but I like it._ '

"Hey lady!"

Nanako turned.

The bum was in the middle of propping himself up, using the wall for support. He pushed away and staggered onto the path.

Nanako didn't move, but was a little frightened that he had woken up and bothered to speak to her.

His slurred voice snaked its way toward her.

"Wassis thiss, hah!?" he gestured with a closed fist, the coins clinking inside.

She blinked, scared and surprised, ' _Wh-what!? He's not going to demand more, is he!?_ '

"Ya ssink yoo can assua _ee_..." his head dipped, "...assuage my pain, wiss juss a few coins!?"

' _What more could he want from me? I-is he going to attack me!?_ '

"U-um, c-can I help you with something?"

"I don't need your damn money!"

The coins scattered at her feet. For a moment, his slur disappeared.

The man jammed a thumb into his chest, "I don't need your help, or anyone else's!"

Nanako blinked, "Um, okay..."

"I graduated Johns Hopkins as one of the top in my class! I'm a fucking doctor!"

"Heh...?"

' _Johns Hopkins!? Isn't that a university in America!?_ '

This guy wasn't just poor and drunk, he was off his rocker! No wonder he was homeless!

The bum pointed, "I could probably make more than you in a day!"

Nanako's fist clenched around her groceries.

"And here! Take your stupid cake back while your at it!"

He picked up the box and flung it at her.

She didn't flinch once, not even when the cake spilled out onto the pavement.

The man stood heaving, arms slumped and wavering a little.

Nanako's head tipped, her eyes shaded over, and heaved a breath of her own.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLE!" she lurched forward, the grocery bags rustling in her hands, her voice echoing up the empty street. " _I bought that cake as a sentiment! It wasn't meant for you! I gave it out of the kindness of my heart!_ "

" _Well good for you!_ " the bum shouted back. " _I hope you feel all warm inside! I don't want your pity! I don't want anyone's pity!_ "

" _Where's your Christmas spirit!? Excuse me for trying to extend a hand in kindness! I promise, I'll never do it again!_ "

" _Christmas is over! You think just because I look like this, it means I'm homeless!_ "

"Well, if it walks like a duck—"

"Oh, can it!"

" _Lemme' finish my sentence!_ "

" _I think I've heard it before, lady! I think everyone has!_ "

"Well hardy-har-har!" Nanako shook her hips. "Looks like the 'Hopkins grad' knows an idiom or two!"

People were beginning to notice the uproar outside. Faces peaked out from windows, and Nanako even noticed an elderly woman stepping out on her small balcony to enjoy the show.

"It's likely one more idiom than you!"

"You're an idiom!"

"And who buys a cheap Christmas cake after New Years!? Talk about pathetic!"

Her face felt hot, and everyone was staring.

" _It's none of your business! How dare you judge me!_ "

"Oooh, did I hit a nerve~?" the drunk jeered. "So was it because you couldn't afford one of the fancier priced ones, or because you just felt sorry for it?"

Her nails dug into her palms, "If you say, one more word..."

"I thought I remembered you mentioning _sentiment_ earlier. Not feeling so privileged now, are ya?"

Nanako reeled back with both barrels, " _Well screw you and the white horse you rode in on!_ "

" _Yeah? You too!_ "

She turned immediately and stormed off.

' _How could you let yourself get roped into that!? You should have just kept walking and not said anything! What's wrong with you!?_ '

It had to be from all the frustration of the holidays...and being alone...

' _He destroyed my cake, my precious, sad, cake. It never hurt anyone... What an insensitive jerk! He clearly has no sense of human quality and good will, and he is_ definitely _no university grad. You'd think he would be more receptive of kindness from being in such a humble and pathetic state..._ '

She looked back to make sure the jerkwad derelict hadn't started following her to continue throwing insults or to possibly harm her.

He was sauntering away, in the opposite direction, tail between his legs, heh heh, with that bottle in his hand.

 _Kree!_

"Ah! Dammit..." his frustration resonated her way.

' _I win..._ ' she smiled with a canine sticking over her lip. ' _I win, I win, I wiiin~_ '

Still...she had to go home to her empty house...

Hopefully Izumi was online...and hopefully the network wasn't shut down for repairs again...

* * *

"So, Tanaka-san, I reviewed your credentials and I have to say, I'm quite impressed..."

It was only a day before school started, and the principal had decided to perform the interview personally, which Toshi didn't imagine was a bad thing, so much as he should have expected it. It meant the principal was interested, however...

"...in fact, it's a little overwhelming...why are you interested in Ryoo High again?"

Toshi's head slumped lower as a deep shade of despair weighed in on him.

 _Can't find a job..._

 _Living on leftover student loans..._

 _Payment is due in six months, plus interest..._

He couldn't let it show that he was not interested in the least, this was the only thing he could find.

Toshi adjusted his glasses and raised his head, "Um, sir, I feel that it would be a good opportunity for me to gain experience before setting out to start a private practice."

' _Crap! No! That's wrong too! If I mention I'll be leaving eventually, he'll lose interest!_ '

The principal chuckled a little and looked over Toshi's resume, "Well, I can't say this isn't a good opportunity. Normally, we have only Bachelor Graduates applying for this position. Let's see, a student visa to study abroad in America, four years at a State University in Colorado, then another steady four years of Graduate School at Hopkins, studying under Doctor [ _quack!_ ] as an intern. You graduated in the tenth percentile of your class with a Ph.D. in Psychology and a minor in Music & Arts, I have to say Toshi-san, this is overdoing it a bit for a simple position as a school counselor..."

The dismal shade returned to Toshi's face and he began feeling a little sick, ' _Maybe I could just go back to college and become a professional student...just escape those impending loans for as long as I can, and live caaare freee~_ '

All the professor positions at major universities had been taken. All the government licensed therapist positions had been taken. Becoming a statistics 'lab rat' would require additional courses that he had no interest in. Starting a private practice took years of experience and required planing, time, references and money...

' _I'm at the end of my rope here..._ '

Toshi chuckled nervously, "Haha, well, I wanted to return to Japan because I wished to expand on psychological medicine here in Saitama."

A lie. Truthfully, he would have preferred a private practice and a swank home in Kyoto. The psychology business wasn't doing so hot in America either, so he came back and did shoot for positions outside of Saitama, but to no avail, and wound up returning home. The only upside was he had been able to afford a small apartment, a special place he could finally call his own, but if he didn't get this job, that wouldn't last, and he would have to move back in with mom and dad.

' _Yup, I'm livin' the college graduate dream, hurraaaye_...'

Toshi continued, "Also, I grew up here, so I figure it's the best place to start."

Not a lie, but he was practically begging now. Toshi felt he couldn't sink any lower, or he would loose the position for good. Off the top of his head, he was having to minimalize his goals, right in front of the Principal of Ryoo, just so he could get this stupid, low income, menial position, _which he didn't even want in the first place!_

' _Sir, please, have mercy! If you only knew what the market was like! If you only kneeew!_ '

The principal laid the resume on his desk and sat back in his chair, one hand tapping a finger on the armrest and the other holding his chin. His eyes scanned the resume and then lifted up at Toshi's awkward smile.

"Haah, well, we haven't received any other applicants for the position. Honestly, it's felt a little strange, running a high school without a counselor for the past few weeks. The position has never been fought for, and the old counselor didn't quit, she retired..."

' _I can only imagine why._ '

"Based on your credentials, I know you won't have any trouble performing your duties. Something keeps telling me I'm looking at a fine opportunity here, but I can't explain why. Maybe it'll look good for the school to have a Hopkins grad on staff. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me..."

' _C'mon, make up your mind_...'

Toshi's face was starting to hurt.

"But what kind of person would I be to refuse an open position to the first qualified applicant that came along..."

' _Yes? Yes?_ '

"Even if you are overqualified to a point where it's unfair..."

' _Mhm, we've already established that..._ '

The principal sat up, "Tanaka-san, I'm not going to put you through the waiting process. The second semester continues tomorrow and I believe it would be in our best interest to have you start immediately. Besides, we can detail your paperwork with payroll while you're getting acquainted with the school and your position."

He stood and presented his hand.

"Welcome to the Ryoo Team, Tanaka-san."

" _Yea_ -uh-uh, yes! Thank you, sir."

' _Don't appear too grateful, it looks desperate..._ '

He had to gloss over the oddity that the principal had refereed to it as a 'team'.

"I-I promise, I won't let you down."

The principal gave him an strange glance, "I don't think I'll have to worry about that."

* * *

"I'm sittin' at a bar on the insi~de, waitin' for my ride on the outsi~de..."

The place was dimly lit, and after three weeks of coming here, Toshi figured he was going to become a regular pretty quick. The bartender and he were already on a first name basis.

"'Nother bourbon, Toshi?"

"I'll take it, Gen," he said, tapping the top of his glass apathetically. He rested his head on top of tired, crossed arms, "Man, I just don't get it... I should be helping rich investors understand why they're suffering from insomnia, or why their one night stand ran out on them, or that, no, the weather is not predicated based on what clothes they wear for the day."

Gen eyed him while upturning the bottle of Wild Gobbler 101 into the glass.

"Things work out?"

Toshi stared at the polished wood surface, "Yeah...I guess they did..."

"Funny, I wasn't sure, from the looks of ya."

Toshi rode his Harley home from Ryoo before walking here, but was still wearing his biker jacket, which had become Gen's way of identifying him.

When Gen first laid eyes on him, he made some kind of crack about Toshi's glasses, and how they ruined his 'outlaw' image. When Toshi removed them, Gen chuckled again and said, 'Nah, you still look like you're wearing your big brother's clothes.'

That same jacket hung on the stool next to Toshi.

It was a Sunday night before the work week started up after New Years, so the place was pretty empty, say for a couple in one of the booths. Toshi didn't plan on getting lit up, definitely not like the other evening. He finally had work on a Monday, ooh goody!

Toshi took a look around, "Ya know Gen, don't take offense at this, but I like it when business is slow here..."

"Yeah, I know where you're coming from. There's a nice atmosphere when things are quiet. Though it doesn't do me much good to have it always like this, haha."

"And that's why you have me," Toshi tapped the top of his glass again, after already knocking it back.

Gen poured, and then turned to grab a glass for himself, since it didn't look like things would pick up tonight.

"Eight years, Gen...eight long years of essays...exams...memorization...memorizing things until I felt like I was losing my mind...my doctoral thesis..." Toshi smoothed his chin. "I have my Ph.D. in Psychology. That's advanced social sciences and human behavior from thee most historically prestigious psych university in America..." Toshi felt a laugh bubbling up, "and I'm using it to listen to high school _students talk about their problems, kkkgh_..."

While Toshi chuckled to himself, enjoying his buzz, he heard Gen talking off to his left.

"Well, it's not all that bad," Gen swirled his glass.

"Yeah? _kkgh!_ How so?"

"You'll be making money now, so you'll be able to stay at your new place, and you'll be able to keep coming back here."

"Just for that, I think you should gimme' a freebee."

Gen ignored this, "And, I think you're missing the bright side of all this."

"Uh-huh, classic. So what is it?"

"Yeah sure, things aren't going too well for you right now, but they can always change. I like to look at life in stages. Right now, I own and run a bar. It may stay that way the rest of my life, or it could change tomorrow. Something new may happen for me and I may decide to sell the place."

"That doesn't sound reassuring..."

"Aren't you psychologists supposed to be good at listening?"

"Alright, alright, go on..."

"I may start a new bar somewhere else, and get to have new experiences. I may get wealthy somehow and start a chain of 'em. Or, I may just go into another trade. You're in a stage in your life right now where you're just starting out in the world. You're a little late because you've been in school all this time. The economy and the job market suck, but that's how it is for everyone right now. A positive is, you have job security. They want you, and they want to keep you as long as they can. You may work this job for a couple years and move on to something better one day. Or, things could change tomorrow."

It was a bit sickly sweet to hear, but he wondered if Gen made a good point. Optimism was a healthy practice, after all. Plus, that part about him being in school for so long helped to soothe his ego.

Toshi sat his elbow on the bar and raised his glass, "Gen, bartenders are the therapists of therapists."

Gen only chuckled, "I think I've heard that one before, but I'll drink to it."

 _Clink_

* * *

Outside Gen's Place, Toshi placed hands in his pockets and began the half hour walk back to his apartment.

The sun had already gone down, but while looking up at the stars just beginning to form, and the purple shades beginning to turn deep blue, for some reason, it reminded him of an evening just a few days ago, when the setting sun had turned the sky a fiery orange, and some kind of crazy argument he had with a total stranger.

The memory was very vague. For some reason...cake was involved?

Could have been something subliminal.

It had been shortly after he placed his application and resume for Ryoo, so he was feeling pretty depressed at the level he had stooped to after all his years of hard work, which explained why he went overboard with the drink.

The vision wasn't blurry, just more unstable and unfocused, but he could remember really long, blond hair, and a pair of sharp, yet big green eyes. She had been standing far enough away that he didn't get a solid look at her face though.

"I was so stupid..." he cringed and lowered his chin into his jacket. "She was just trying to do something nice. Wait, what was she trying to do again...?"

He remembered her shaking her hips and his head snapped up.

"No way! Even after I tried to explain myself, she mocked me and acted like a child!"

He exhaled.

" _Fooo~_ Easy...people embarrass themselves all the time. You're never going to see that person again. This is still a big city, so don't dwell on it. It's not going to fix anything..."

He focused forward.

"I have a bedtime now, gotta' be up at six, so let's just go home and log on for the night. Nine should be a good time to call it quits..."

Toshi walked into the night, along the quiet street.

 _Chk-chk-chk, chk-chk-chk_

Toshi Tanaka, 26 years old

Bm!-Bm!

SINGLE

 **AN:** Hello everyone! I hope you've enjoyed this first chapter. Sorry for the titles, they were spur of the moment and titles aren't really a strength of mine. When I come up with a new one, I'll change them.


	2. Chapter 2: First Day Induction

**Chapter 2: First Day Induction**

"...and best wishes for a safe and prosperous New Year. Thank you."

Casual applause lifted from the student filled auditorium.

The principal's opening speech was a figurative five minutes that felt more like fifteen. More like there was no telling how long it would take, so it felt longer, as Toshi would understand. But the principal was a good man of patience and good cheer, so he had to give him the benefit of the doubt.

What proved to be stressful on him was what happened next.

"I have a special announcement to make. As you may know, our former school counselor Tabuchi-san retired last year in early December, and the school has been short a counselor since then. It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, our new school counselor. He is just as excited to get to know all of us as we are to get to know him..."

Yeah, nobody knew about him until today.

"His name is Doctor Toshi Tanaka, he is a graduate of Johns Hopkins University, and...well I suppose he should be able to tell you more about that himself. Doctor Tanaka, if you would like to take the stand..."

Casual applause flowed throughout the room again as Toshi approached the podium rigidly in his suit.

Gee, ya know, it would have been nice if the guy in charge had bothered to notify him he would be speaking in front of hundreds of people. Toshi was now face to face with one of his most overwhelming fears, public speaking. It was one of few that he was well aware of, and had carried all his life. All those eyes on him at once, recording his every move, every fidget, every Freudian slip of the tongue, every awkward pose, gesture or compulsion. He wondered if they could see the beads of sweat forming along his forehead.

' _Just like you learned in stress management Toshi, breathe...'_

"U-um, hello..."

 _Reee~_

The mic feedback caused one or two heads to cover their ears.

"S-sorry..."

Toshi adjusted his glasses, though even with them on, he couldn't make out the faces very well.

' _Please be kind to me..._ '

"I'm Doctor Tanaka...uh...it's a pleasure to be here. I hope to get to know most of you over the coming years, though hopefully not for any bad reasons..."

' _Nice one Toshi, nice..._ '

"Haha, I like to promote good mental health...uh, if you have any problems of any kind, even if it's of a private or personal nature, that's what I'm here for, though I advise requesting permission from parental guardians before proceeding to do so, if you can. Just something to keep in mind. On my medical license and my word as a doctor, I promise full patient confidentiality, and anyone who steps into my office qualifies as such a patient."

He leaned back from the mic, feeling better, now that it was over with.

' _That's all I need to say, right? I can go now?_ '

Before Toshi could step away, he caught one of the other teachers giving him a wave to continue.

' _What?_ '

She was mouthing something to him, " _Tell us more about yourself_."

She winked at him!

' _Huh?_ '

He looked to the principal, who gave him a nod.

This was an opening ceremony, not a class.

Toshi leaned towards the mic again, "U-um, I enjoy reading, going for runs and w-watching romantic comedies..."

' _Mostly anime_...'

"I play the piano, but I really like to listen to indie and jazz. My favorite season is spring, I really like...chocolate fudge ice cream, and...going to the beach..."

' _My favorite drink is bourbon, and I play MMORPGs_...'

Did he say something funny? He heard a few chuckles, but some people sounded like they were having trouble breathing, there was gasping. A case of asthma?

He knew most guys didn't admit to things like that, but he liked boldness and honesty, it made one stand out and feel better about them self.

' _Is that it?_ '

He looked to the line of teachers seated behind him and a few gave him thumbs up.

' _Finally..._ '

The principal approached the podium again, "Thank you for giving Doctor Tanaka your full attention. I hope he begins to feel welcome among the walls of our school very soon. I trust you will treat him with the utmost respect and gratitude, as he would any of you. A good mind and a heart to listen are what make a substantial counselor, and a substantial counselor is necessary for a healthy school. Let's take a positive step forward into the New Year."

* * *

' _No no no! I'm late! I missed the ceremony, but hopefully no one noticed. I just gotta' make it to class before things get started, or else I'm in it deep!_ '

Feet flying up the hall, Nanako made it to the door.

 _VVBANG!_

"Sit your butts down right now!"

' _That was close..._ '

She hunched over in the doorway, panting as students made quick steps to avoid her sudden temper.

Nanako approached the podium as casually as possible, given she was exhausted and her hair was now ruined.

He raised her head with a smile.

"It's good to have all of you back from winter break, but now that that's over, I need you to shake it off, _come out of vacation mode, clean yourselves up and behave like the awesome students I know you are_..."

 _Thud!_

Too many nights of gaming and drinking too close to the end of the break had not done her much good.

' _Oh man, it's not even halfway through the day and I'm already exhausted...how am I going to push through this one?_ '

She lifted drowsy eyes to see her students staring at her, jaws on their desks, and Konata smirking from among the faces.

' _Yeah, laugh it up, kiddo. This is what you look like every day_.'

She stood up straight and smoothed the stray hairs of her mane as best she could.

She began scratching away on the chalk board.

"Alright, we're only several weeks away from the end of your second year, with new lesson plans and subjects to tackle, so let's work on finishing strong. I'll be expecting you to turn in your winter homework at the end of homeroom or class, whichever works for you. For this week, we will be..."

* * *

"Haah~" Toshi sighed, already beginning to feel exhausted.

He slouched forward with his shoulders low, just happy to be over that embarrassing, last minute introduction during the morning ceremony. His office chair was comfy at least.

The office was spacious, which was nice. There was a couch with a coffee table and two comfy recliners. The couch would be good if a student felt they needed to lie down while talking, or if feeling anxious or short of breath. The office chair he sat in was located between his desk and a surface space sticking out from the wall. A school issued desktop computer was there, that had already been hooked up and had probably been sitting there for a few years. Near it was a school issued, wireless telephone. Two additional, standard school chairs sat in front of his desk.

The room wasn't very colorful, and reminded him more of a doctor's examination room, so for lack of seeming cozy, it was at least convenient. There was even a closet for his coats and umbrella.

He brought a box with a few items in it to make his place feel a little more like home. It wasn't a lot, but he figured more things would be added gradually during his stay here, however long that would be.

The principal informed him it would be good to acquaint himself with the nursing staff, for good communication between him, the mental specialist, and them, the physical specialists, in case a student was feeling ill or if the nurses requested that he admit a student. The phone already had the nurse's office on speed dial.

The nurses themselves had been receptive of him, no different from the teachers during the morning ceremony. Although, after introducing himself, they persisted to call him 'Doctor', as if he was in a medical themed soap opera.

They provided him with a lab coat, in which case he questioned whether it was a standard to have a school counselor wearing a lab coat. They merely returned this by smiling at each other with a few chuckles, and then smiling at him.

"I think they're messing with me..."

The thing came with a name tag, so he supposed it wouldn't hurt at all to wear it. If anything, he was distinguished from looking like a teacher.

He leaned back and tapped his hands on the armrests, his eyes gliding about the room.

"Guess I can get used to this, a little... They didn't really give me anything else to do. Is this what it's going to be like every day? I guess I'll have logs to fill out, or they'll find something for me to do. Can't have me sitting around doing nothing all day. It's pretty quiet..."

He looked at his computer.

"I wonder if they would complain if I brought my speakers and played music most of the time...maybe I could access my account on Au[ _tx!tx!_ ]Kingdom _..._ "

He probably shouldn't do that, unless he was willing to risk being caught. And eroge was just out of the question. Keep that stuff at home, people. Seriously...

Looking at the clouds through his window, he tapped his hands on the armrests and swiveled from side to side in the chair. This thing had pretty smooth bearings.

Using his feet, he quickly spun himself around, then pushed off so he was launched backwards from the space behind his desk.

"Weeee~"

He made it clear to one of the reclining chairs.

Stop. Spin. And repeat.

"Weeee~ Hah—"

He stopped and looked at the clock on his wall.

"Mmm...I guess if they have nothing for me today, I should try walking around and getting a better layout. I wonder where the cafeteria is. Is there a staff lunch room...?"

* * *

Kagami set her bento down at the four-way table created by Konata, Tsukasa and Miyuki's desks, before flopping in her chair with closed eyes.

"Did you get a load of the new counselor's induction?"

"Oh yeah!" Tsukasa's voice rose. "I thought he was really nice."

"I look forward to our school having a new counselor," Miyuki smiled, like usual.

"Yeah, he seems like an okay guy," Konata said, with a positive air, and took a bite out of her choco-cornet. "Though he was shaking all over, I wonder if he's the nervous type."

"It doesn't make much sense," Kagami droned, while opening her bento. "If he gets all nervous like that, speaking in front of a bunch of people, what's he going to be like if a student comes to him with a real problem?"

Konata shrugged, "Mm, I dunno', maybe he'll do alright?"

"Yeah, that's pretty assumptive."

"But, didn't you just say something like that?"

Kagami ignored this, "And didn't anyone notice the reaction he received? I swear, the girl next to me was hyperventilating."

"Yes, it did seem as the entire school was awfully excited to see him," Miyuki smoothed her cheek. "The boy next to me seemed to have trouble holding in his laughter when Tanaka-sensei began listing his favorite things. For some reason, he found his favorite ice cream very amusing..."

"Oh, Miyuki-san..." Konata looked like she couldn't hold back that weird smile on her face. "Maybe you'll get it someday."

"Get what...?" Miyuki tipped her head to the side.

"Um..." Tsukasa murmured, "I sorta' liked it when he said he liked jazz..."

"Tsukasa, you don't even listen to jazz," Kagami droned.

A light blush developed on her face, "S-sorry, I know..."

Kagami frowned, "You just liked it because it sounded grown up, didn't you?"

Tsukasa squirmed, "Uh, eh heh..."

"And it wasn't just jazz, he said indie. And what was all that stuff about Johns Hopkins? What's a Johns Hopkins graduate doing here of all places? What's a doctor even doing here?"

"Kaaagamiii~" Konata was looking her way.

She hated it whenever the shorty said her name that way, it only meant she thought she had something on her.

"You definitely seem to remember a lot about the ceremony."

"Uh, yeah, so what? I pay attention when people are talking. You should try it sometime."

"Mm-mm~" Konata waved a finger. "You remember a lot about when the _new guy_ was speaking."

"O-of course I did! A lot of people were paying attention! You don't find _that_ weird!?"

"Uh-uh~ You remember some pretty detailed things that he listed out. I bet you can even tell me what his favorite holiday was."

"He never said that!"

That 'cat smile' of hers broadened, "My point, exactly."

Yep, that would be why.

Kagami felt hot around her collar.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" she raised a defensive hand. "Let's not be hasty! I-it's not like I took a particular interest or anything...besides, you weren't listening!"

"But you were~"

' _How the hell is it she's so good at that!?_ '

"Is something wrong, sis?" Tsukasa peeked.

"N-nothing, it's nothing!"

"Yeah, it's probably nothing..." Konata smoothed and placed her chin in a hand. "Just another student-teacher crush to add to the list."

' _Really pissing me off!_ '

Tsukasa's head tipped sideways, "Huh?"

Kagami had raised her hand to point at Kona and begin laying into her, when a noise from out in the hall interrupted them.

" _Drunk derelict!?_ "

" _Clueless ditz!?_ "

She froze...

"Hah!?" she turned.

The four looked toward their open classroom door to see Kuroi-sensei out in the hall, frozen as well, in a rigid pose, her arm raised as if she was pointing at someone, a look of shock just visible from her profile.

They left their lunches and seats to step into the hall, and stared...

Kagami moved her gaping mouth to speak, "Okay...what the hell is going on...?"

 **AN:** I realize the scene of Nanako being late for her class is in a later episode, but that was such a cute side to her, I had to put it in.

I hope you're enjoying, this is a very different fandom from what I'm used to writing in.


	3. Chapter 3: Round 2

**Chapter 3: Round 2...and 3...and 4...**

For Nanako, even on a bad day, lunch was always the best time to wake up. Sure, she began feeling sleepy after eating, and she knew what people said about sleeping after eating during the day, which didn't make much sense, since you're supposed to burn calories in your sleep. However, once she began her next class, using that energy through her lecture, it woke her up some, and she felt she could make it through the last set of classes.

There was still fifteen minutes before class started and there wasn't much going on in the faculty lunch area, so she figured on killing a few minutes in the classroom before students began taking their seats.

While on the way, her eyes caught something a little bit different from the everyday sights.

' _Hmm...haven't seen him around here before..._ '

There was a guy ahead of her, walking in the opposite direction.

He wasn't a student, that showed, since he was a little taller than most. He was about her height, maybe a few centimeters taller, but the more obvious feature that stood out was the lab coat he had his hands stuffed in the pockets of.

' _I never received any emails about a new person working in the nurse's office. Go figure, the correspondence at this school is good for nothing._ '

A few more steps, and Nanako found herself feeling a certain way about the specimen that would be passing her in a matter of seconds, as he paid close and curious attention to his surroundings, observing as students weaved respectfully around him.

' _Oh my~ What do we have here~_ '

After years of guy watching, she didn't have much trouble figuring out just what one's appeal was all about. And this one made her think of a curious rabbit in unknown territory. Which made her a wily little fox~

' _Hello there, are you lost~? You must be, looking everywhere like you've never see the inside of a school before. Would you like me to show you around? I can show you all kinds of things~_ "

When he was still some distance from her, he moved off to her left to create space for her to pass, what a gentleman~

' _Working here just got a lot more fun._ '

However, there was something about him that seemed familiar, which in only a few seconds, was beginning to bug her. And the closer he got, the more those features began to stand out on that cute face.

"Good afternoon," that head of crisp, ice blue hair nodded at her, with a bat of those boyish, smoky gray eyes. Ooh~ there was some mystery to this one.

She decided to be her casual, fun loving self.

"Hiya," she smiled and raised a hand.

' _How nice of him~ What a cutie! Greeting me, even though he doesn't know my — Wait a minute!_ '

Nanako had whipped around, only to see that Mr. Labcoat had done the same.

His eyes popped out from behind those specs, which changed quite a bit about his look, but she wasn't fooled. She could remember that face. It had been dirty and menacing, from wandering the streets, guzzling an indiscriminate bottle of spirits, and didn't look at all as innocent as the one that gawked back at her now.

" _Ah..._ " Nanako's throat cracked.

" _Ah_..." his cracked right back at her. It had to be him!

All at once, before she knew what she was doing, Nanako thrust a pointed finger shakily at the unknown 'M.D.', only to see him do the exact same thing, _at the exact same time!_

"D-D- _Drunk derelict!?_ "

"C-C- _Clueless ditz!?_ "

She had not noticed it yet, but all movement in the hall stopped at about this point. Every student had frozen in place, warily glancing, leering and staring in their direction.

She could see his eyes, they were quivering at her, with a couple innocent blinks.

Wait a minute! Who did he think he was talking to!? She _was not_ a clueless ditz!

" _What the hell are you doing here!?_ " she fired without meaning to.

" _What the hell are_ you _doing here!?_ " he only repeated.

Things were very shaky, and she found herself having trouble managing to come up with more word-ammunition to fire back at him.

" _I-I work here! I'm a teacher!_ "

" _N_ - _No you don't!_ "

What the hell!

" _Yeah dumbass! I've been working here almost ten years!_ "

" _As a teacher!?_ "

" _Duuh~!_ "

" _I find it really hard to believe that a self-absorbed, judgmental, jaded person like you could ever make it anywhere, teaching anyone, anything!_ "

" _Hu-waaoow! Got enough adjectives and pronouns in there!?"_

" _What are you, the English department!?_ "

" _Wrong again, moron! I'm a history teacher! What the hell are you supposed to be!?_ "

" _Me!? I'm the new counselor! It's my first day!_ "

" _Ha! As if!_ "

It was wearing off now, she was gaining more confidence, she felt like she could move again.

She could see now, the lab coat, those glasses...wait, was it a disguise!?

She placed hands against her hips and shot him skeptical look, "I never received word of a new counselor. It would have been all over the school if we had new employment."

"Uhh, were you at the morning ceremony?"

"Huh!?"

' _Oh crap..._ '

 _And_ confidence was gone.

"Yeah! The faculty and student body were all in attendance. I had to make a speech!"

He seemed pretty proud of himself for that...

"Yeah, well, I..."

"Wait...you weren't there!"

"N-no! I was!"

" _Nuh-uh!_ "

" _Yeah so!_ "

"You weren't there, or else you would've known I was here all along!"

" _Shut up! I was there, man! You weren't because you're not supposed to be here in the first place! I bet none of these kids even know who you are!_ Hah!" her arm flung defensively under her chin, elbow pointed towards him. " _Are you stalking me!? YOU PERVERT!"_

"You're _the one stalking_ me! _If you weren't there, how am I supposed to believe you actually work here!?_ "

" _I don't have to prove anything to you! I know I work here!_ "

" _That's just what a delusional frenetic would say!_ "

If he was supposed to be college educated, he certainly spouted the vocabulary for it. Okay, so he was a well-read bum. Anyone could memorize that!

Her throat was getting sore, " _Don't try your mind games with me! I'm telling you, I friggin' work here! Ask anyone!"_

" _Ask anyone, I was at the ceremony! So you admit I might be a psychologist!_ "

Nanako backed away, "N-no! No way!"

"You just said!"

"I will admit that you're a sick, depraved, desperate man, and that the only way you can get help is if someone forces you."

He stepped forward, "If you don't believe me, then look at this!"

He held out one of the folds of his coat to present the name tag over his breast pocket.

Nanako took a step and leaned forward, not realizing how ridiculous she looked, after cautiously leaning away from him just moments ago.

TOSHI TANAKA, PH.D.

SCHOOL COUNSELOR

She didn't even know his name! Drunk D. Erelict! _That_ was his name!

"Yeah? You could have stolen that, or had it made! So who are you really, 'Toshi Tanaka'?"

Out the corner of her eye, she spotted Izumi, Hiiragi, Takara, and that other one with the pig tails, all standing shoulder to shoulder, their mouths gaping with wide, dispelled eyes.

"What're you four doing!?" she shouted. "Every thing's fine! I'm calling the police right now! Get back to your seats!"

Not even a twitch! Like statues, they just stared.

She was interrupted again by the derelict, now turned phony.

"Would you like to see my ID too? I have my faculty and my medical license. And if you don't believe me then, we can take a walk to the faculty office. You'll be eating your words the moment we step in."

She couldn't. She couldn't let him have this. She won the last time. She friggin' beat his ass and that was end of story! How could he have shown up again!? It didn't make sense! What the hell was going on!?

" _Not if I get there first!_ "

As she sped up the hallway, whizzing past blurred students, not conscious of what she was doing, she just knew there had to be something she was missing. If he was truly screwed in the head, it would be obvious, whether she went there with him or not. No! Fuck it! She just wanted to find out for herself.

So much for that last boost of energy to finish her day right...

* * *

When the dust settled, the remaining student counselor, Tanaka-sensei, was left standing in a sea of students, whom had finished staring off into Kuroi-sensei's wake, and had fixed their attention on his lone presence.

He huffed a couple times, looking around himself, like he couldn't think of anything to say, then shrugged a frustrated shoulder, and walked back in the direction of his office.

After managing to regain all the feeling back in her face, Konata turned to the others, with a cad smirk.

"Okay, you guys saw what I just saw, right~?"

Even Miyuki appeared pretty shaken, which was surprising by itself. Maybe she went to a happy place, or was still processing things.

 _Pending 43% ... ... ..._

The twins turned to look at her, and it seemed like their faces would be stuck that way for a while.

"So what do you suppose that was all about?" Kona asked.

"Beats the heck outta' me..." Kagami's face was still frozen, but she managed to blink herself back to the present, over time.

Kona chuckled a little, "Kay, so those two obviously know each other from somewhere, I wonder - wuh-oh!"

Kona pivoted her head to find Tsukasa quivering, sniffling and gasping between broken phrases as she tried feebly to wipe her eyes.

' _Here come the water works._ '

"He was saying mean things to Kuroi-senseh- _hee_...and Kuroi-sensei said she'd call the cops- _hee hee_...and Kuroi-sensei said means things back...and she called him a pervert...and he called her a ditz... _hee_... _and I don' even know whadduh ditz iiis~!_ "

Instead of reacting like she usually did, Kagami took her sister in her arms and smoothed her hair, "Hey Tsukasa, it's alright. Calm down, things just got a little too exciting..."

"Guess she's not used to adults yelling at each other like that in real life," Kona muttered.

"That was absolutely astonishing," Miyuki's airy voice finally made itself known.

Kona smirked, "Hey~ glad you could make it back. Have a nice trip?"

Miyuki adjusted her glasses, "I must say, I sympathize with Kuroi and Tanaka-sensei, that whatever they were discussing must have been important, but during school was hardly the best time for it."

"Meh, things were getting pretty boring today, so it was nice entertainment."

"What about any of that was entertaining to you!?" Kagami flared.

"Hmm, I guess the part where Teach said something about pronouns."

Kagami ignored this and turned back to comforting Tsukasa, "It wasn't all that bad Tsukasa, just more ridiculous and embarrassing, if anything."

Tsukasa sniffled, "O...okay..."

"Hmm..." Kona pinched her chin. "If you put it in the perspective of an anime, you could say they were like N[ _crrk!_ ]ma-bozu and As[ _tx!tx!_ ]na-san if they were to ever end up in a fight."

"Ugh, is this really the time for that?" Kagami groaned.

Thunder cracked in her thought bubble.

" _Goin' head to head, the hallway became their battlefield, they clashed with sparks flying! The Shrink used his Mind Altering Hypnotism Incantation, but it was no match for Teach's Lightning Rage Spear of Truth..._ "

"Okay, now let's try and assess this back in reality."

Miyuki placed a hand on her cheek, "They seemed to know a lot about each other."

This received a snap from Kagami, "What do ya mean!? They spent the entire time screaming questions at each other! When they weren't insulting each other..."

Kona followed up with her piece, "I dunno', they sounded like they knew each other pretty well to me."

"Yeah sure shorty, and where are you getting this intuition from?"

"Hmm..." Kona pinched her chin again. "Well, they had special names for each other, didn't they?"

"That's what you're going on!?"

Miyuki pondered, "They did call each other a harsh compilation of other negative and descriptive things...and they both seemed pretty insistent to stand by their statements, no matter what the other said..."

' _That's it Miyuki-san, you go girl! Lay it on thick, so there's no reason to doubt_...'

"Oh come on, where did you get that from?" Kagami asked.

"In passing, Tanaka-sensei continually made it clear that he had been present during the ceremony, which we all know he was. However, Kuroi-sensei continually denied it, and further denied her absence from the ceremony, when Tanaka-sensei made his rebuttal."

"Come to think of it, was Kuroi at the ceremony?" Kagami asked.

Kona explained, "She came into class pretty burnt out. I guess she was ticked about being late."

Miyuki's voice drooped into sympathy, "The holidays seem to have taken their toll on everyone here."

"Alright, we're getting off track!" Kagami vented. "Why are you so sure that they know each other like you're suggesting?"

Kona thrust an index skyward, "High school, my dear Kagami!"

"We're in high school..."

"It's obvious they know each other on a much closer level, because how many strangers do you know of that get into fights like that!?" she pointed.

"Now you're just saying stuff to try and sound smart, next time, let Miyuki do the talking..."

Miyuki smoothed her face and blushed, "It's a little embarrassing. I honestly don't claim to know much about the situation, I'm just relaying what they said to each other..."

' _Moe, big boobs, curvy curves, super smart, and she's a walking recorder! Is it getting hot in here...?_ '

Miyuki continued, "Even though it's apparent from Konata-chan's account that Kuroi-sensei was not present for the ceremony, she stressed that she had been present. It's only speculation, but I believe she did not want to be made to look inadequate in front of her students, which was what Tanaka-sensei needed to prove his plight, that he is now employed with the school, which for reasons unknown, Kuroi-sensei refused to acknowledge."

"It just looked like she wanted to get rid of him to me..." Kagami droned.

"Exactly!" Kona pointed again, feeding off Miyuki's wealth of information. "There's something about the Shrink that rubs Teach the wrong way. So gentleman, I propose we figure out what that is, hm-hm-hm~"

"I'm gonna' stop you right there. Talking about it is one thing, but sticking our noses in something that clearly has nothing to do with us is a mistake."

"Ah Kagamiii~!" Kona whined. "Don't you want to find out what your special crush is all about!?"

"Shut up! Don't say it where everyone can hear you!"

"I must agree with Kagami-chan, Konata-chan," Miyuki smoothed. "As intriguing as it may be, we cannot afford to risk fraternization in a circumstance such as this. It might otherwise cause greater friction between the two parties."

Kona's eyes shut, "Okay, ya lost me..."

Kagami glared, "She's saying we should butt out and mind our own business..."

What a buzz kill!

"Aw maan! Wait! Tsukasa! You want in on this, dontcha'?"

' _I just need a tie, all I want is a tie!_ '

Tuskasa raised her red, timid face and blinked, "Kona-chan...I'm with Sis and Miyuki-chan..."

"Aww, c'mon! I know it was scary, but he's probably nothing like that normally. Don't you remember what he was like during the ceremony!?"

Kagami placed hands against her hips, "Heh heh, give it up shorty, that's three against one."

"Ya know Kagami~ you're acting little bit like Teach from a few minutes ago."

"Grr, you need to stop prying into people's personal lives and face facts. Whatever is going on will sort itself out."

"Alright alright, fine, _jeez_ ," Kona huffed and crossed her arms. "Just when things were picking up around here..."

With a few murky spaces filled in on the territorial map, Kagami decided the best thing to do would be go about their day as usual.

This was when Kona placed a contemplative finger against her cheek, "Hm, I just remembered something..."

" _Hm?_ " the other three turned.

"Didn't class start like, twenty minutes ago...?"

* * *

"C'mon Marise, what've ya got for me?"

Nanako made it to the faculty office in mere seconds, leaving that spirit swilling, phony behind to eat her dust. She even leapt down a few flights, which would have been scary, if it weren't for the adrenalin rush. She had to admit, not too shabby. She had been panting, so she figured a little out of shape, but she could probably clear an obstacle course faster than most of these kids without too much sweat. Not bad at all...

She was leaning over the shoulder of her old co-worker and friend Marise, who accessed the faculty logs to bring up a page on this 'new guy'. Yeah right, a page that likely didn't exist, in which case, she had Saitama PD on speed dial.

"N-Nanako," Marise fidgeted while clicking and typing away. "He was at the ceremony and the principal gave him a warm induction."

"Don't believe anything you see or hear, Marise. There's something funny about this creep, I just know it."

"B-But, then that would mean I can't believe anything at all..."

"Hah?" Nanako looked at her peculiarly, and then beamed. "Let's not split hairs here, okay~? I just wanna' see the file."

"Umm, okay, let's see..." her glasses reflected in the light of the screen. "Oh, here he is."

Nanako's intent stare turned to a frown, "Okay...not quite what I expected..."

"This is his record of attendance at Johns Hopkins. His intern courses and Ph.D. Note of recommendation from Doctor { _quack!_ ] Oh! And he played solo piano in the school's ensemble. I remember him mentioning something about music. I wonder what he sounds like..."

"I don't buy it..." Nanako droned. "What's a guy like him doing here?"

"It's unclear," Marise turned in her swivel chair and placed a finger on her cheek, "but I believe I remember hearing some of the others saying it had something to do with issues in the job market."

"Job market my ass. With credentials like this, I'm surprised places aren't bumping their own employees to make space for him."

"As I understand it, things are tough for everyone right now. If that were the case, it could be that he did not wish to ruin the livelihoods of others for his own gain. Poor Tanaka-san..."

' _Ugh..._ '

Nanako let this slide, since Marise was married.

"Hell with it! I wanna' speak to this quack myself." She pointed to the screen, "Ya know, he could've forged all this. Where's the number for Johns Hopkins?"

"U-um, Nanako, I wouldn't do that..."

"Why not, he's probably a desperate nobody that wanted to become a somebody the easy way."

"I understand you're wish to verify Tanaka-san's information on the school's behalf, but Nanako, it's a pricey long distance call that the school would have to pay for, and I don't think they would understand you all that well..."

She patted a fist against her chest, "Whadda' ya mean? I still have my English down pat. Ahem, **preezed too mee-too yoo,** _ **desu~!**_ Yeah! I think I got it!"

"U~m," Marise quivered in her chair, pasting on a polite smile.

"Rrrgh, if that jerk had kept up with me, he could have proven himself by speaking a little English for everyone. Then I could make him call the dean of JH and find out for certain."

"But...w-wouldn't that be contradicting yourself...?"

Nanako skeptically placed a hand on her hip, "So what, is he just supposed to sit in there, twiddling his thumbs and whatever else, until a student shows up to whine about something?"

Marise's eyes shut as she smiled nervously, "Eh heh...uh...Nanako...you were going somewhere with that, that was kind of...suggestive...?"

"Hah? What? He's a jerk."

Marise looked like she would rather avoid the topic, "Uh, anyways, to answer your question, he is supposed to remain on standby until a student wishes to speak with him. He must receive and answer emails, and keep a log of every visit, but that's about it."

"So he just gets to sit around all day, while we work our butts off teaching!? Damn college kids...and he had the gall to call _me_ privileged..."

"Nanako..." a corner of Marise's mouth twitched. "It's not as hard as you're making it out to be. I think he's an essential part to the school."

"Ho yeah! Sure! The biggest issues these kids face right now are not falling asleep in class."

"N-N-Nanako, c-could you please keep your voice down when you say things like that...? I met him after the ceremony, and he was very nice."

"He-yah, that's just what he wants you to think. I know what he's like away from school, and lemme' tell you something sister, it ain't pretty. Guy needs some therapy of his own. _Major_ drinking problem."

"But, Nanako..."

"What's up?"

"Remember that time you came to school late a few years ago? You pulled me aside and said to grab a bucket from the janitor's closet, in case you couldn't make it while I helped you to the lady's room..."

" _Uh!_ "

That was a day that went down in her history books as one of the worst. She was grateful no one said anything, and the principal didn't catch her. It had been a long time ago, what the hell was Marise doing, bring it up all of a sudden!?

"Ha ha ha! Are you kidding, Marise!? 'Course I remember! I know you always had my back! It's not like I forgot, but this is totally different! Haha, I mean, c'mon!"

 _Completely missed the point..._

More sweat broke out on Marise's nervous face.

Nanako made for the door and called back, "This guy is trouble, believe me Marise, I know it when I see it."

Marise smiled and waved rigidly, "Please keep your voice down, pleeease..."

"You've been a big help as always," Nanako pointed. "Don't worry, I'm gonna' figure this out, kay!?"

* * *

Toshi entered his office nearly half an hour ago and began a little decorating with items from the box he brought.

As he arranged them around his desk and the computer space, he knew it would be futile to try stopping his mind from thinking about that embarrassment that happened earlier.

He didn't know what it was about that lady. He had been trained on what to do when dealing with a belligerent or aggressive patient. All his training on self-management, self-defense and coordination should have kicked in, but with her, it was like he lost total control and just wanted to scream at her whenever she said something awful.

He stopped and slumped his shoulders, "Haah..."

Maybe it was just his inexperience...this was his first job, after all.

There were only so many ways he could approach a situation like this. He would have to see that woman every day, for however long he would be here. It was uncomfortable. She made him uncomfortable. Maybe that was it. But why? What was it about her that made him so uncomfortable?

Could it have been that early evening, a few weeks ago? Was that really the only thing keeping them from a civilized exchange? Was she going to keep holding that over his head the entire time he was here? If that was the case, there were going to be some serious problems. She could inform the principal! Would he believe her!? Toshi may have the credentials, but that lady had been working here an awful lot longer than him. While he was busy cramming for exams in America, she was here, teaching students to be like him...

What caused him to react the way he did in the first place? Well, his pride was hurting, so he could have gone off like that at anyone, unless they were elderly or a youth. If anything, he owed a debt to her kindness. If he had been penniless, his reaction would have probably been different. Still, he was on the verge of being penniless, which meant he could have still received her gesture in kind, it would have saved him a few bucks on something to eat. But still, he had been living on student loans for years and was tired of receiving handouts. He didn't want to be in debt to anyone, if he could help it, which was hard in these present days. It seemed everyone like him was in debt.

"Ugh..." he pinched the bridge of his nose between his glasses. "I'm over thinking things again..."

Back to the plan. He could try playing aloof, mind his own business, and if she wanted to start trouble, he could sort his thoughts in a rational manner to dispel any possible conflict. That fight in the hallway must have really shocked some of the students, another bad example on his part. Just that alone made him wonder if he would be of any use here. If they both wanted to keep their jobs, he could maybe suggest a truce. Or, honesty wasn't a bad idea either. He had been pretty drunk last time, so maybe it was better if she listened to him while he was sober.

He was busy placing the tiny replica of the Johns Hopkins banner at the front of his desk, when a familiar and not so surprising voice drifted up from behind him.

"Hiii~"

He was not surprised to see her poking her head in through the doorway, leaning against the frame, with arms crossed and the phoniest beam of a smile he could ever imagine on a person.

His only greeting was a cold glance in her direction, before continuing to remove items from the box. Her presence was making it difficult enough for him to simply focus on this.

"I just thought I would stop by to see how things are goin' on your end~ You likin' your new office?"

"..."

She remained where she was, but leaned her head in to scan around.

"Wow, these are some nice digs, eh? Kinda' wish I had one myself. You should see my desk in the faculty office. It's a mighty eventful place. You might not like it though, has all the atmosphere of a police precinct. Sometimes it's noisy, usually a dull roar, but ya get used to it."

He continued with removing the frames with his degrees and a few pictures of the family.

"I gotta' admit, I'm a bit of a clutter bug, but it's a living. I have this neighbor who keeps shoving my papers further to _my_ side so she can 'set her tea down'," she made quotation gestures. "Even though I only use up _my_ part of the desk, keeping strictly to that _invisible line_ , ya know."

' _Mhm, emphasize every key word to get your message across..._ '

He removed a few diagnostic and statistics manuals to place on the book shelves.

"Yeah, ya know, working at a high school can be a pain, but I think it's worth it to see the kids graduating to move on to bigger and better things..." her voice developed a dark tinge "...kinda' like yourself, eh?"

He stopped near the corner of his desk and placed a dull leer on her, while she continued to smile.

"Passive aggressive behavior, not wise, but very predictable after a workplace conflict. Attempting to mend burning bridges under false pretenses, still with the conjecture in mind that you are right, and that there's no use arguing the point. But it suits you. I was considering I might be wrong, that this behavior would not result, but no...no, you've just proven my point. I can only guess this means you've dug up information about me that wasn't quite what you imagined. Judging by your defensive stance, arms crossed, yet leaning against the frame to appear relaxed, you've found yourself at a disadvantage and aren't quite sure how to react, or maybe you're holding in another scream with my name on it, which I'm sure you know by now, _is_ my real name. And no honest person I've ever met has smiled at me like that for longer than five seconds, whereas you've been holding it ever since greeting me. Your respectfulness to not enter my office without permission is a courtesy I can appreciate, even if I did say at the ceremony that anyone had permission to enter my office while I am present, especially with means of entering as a patient, but you would know that wouldn't you, if you did not lie, and truly were present this morning..."

She continued to beam at him from the doorway, but it was obvious that smile was covering up something else now.

"Okay~" her lips barely moved.

After saying his piece, Toshi continued his front to make busy.

And yet she persisted.

"Ya know, it still puzzles me why some big, successful Hopkins guy like yourself would come all the way back to Japan to council high school students. Everyone else is pretty suspicious, to say the least."

He stood, "Funny, they were all pretty welcoming to me..."

"Oh my, shouldn't you be able to tell? I mean, with all that elite, secret training you have."

"There's nothing elite or secret about it..."

"Okay, if you say so. I just don't get why a guy of your status would be so interested in talking to a bunch of — _wait!_ " she thrust that defensive arm across her chest again. "You're not going to molest my students, are you!? YOU PERVERT!"

"Wishful thinking on your part, I imagine!"

The air was still. Crazy Lady collected herself, continuing to change the subject with another phony smile and that 'soccer mom' voice of hers.

"Speaking of my students, I'm sure they're wondering where I am~ Better get back to it, and you...do whatever it is you do in here."

He couldn't relax just yet, it being unlikely that she was through with him.

Sure enough, she returned to the door, "Oh, one more thing before I go. America must have been an amazing place, all those sites along the East Coast and Baltimore~ I bet they have some 'amazing' baseball teams over there. The Baltimore _Oreos_ , am I saying it right? I still wanna' see how they would do against our guys, though. But who am I kidding, you might not know a thing about baseball, what with all that studying you've been doing~ Anyways, I'm just curious. While you were over there, you must have picked up at least a little English when you weren't filling your head with mumbo-jumbo. I've yet to hear anyone speak fluent English, so I was wondering, could you speak a little for me~? If it's not too much to ask~"

" **You are an annoying woman, please leave me alone."** He batted a hand," **Bye bye, crazy lady~** "

She continued to smile at him with that open mouth...

" _Did you just call me a bitch!?_ "

" _I don't know! Would you like it in French!? Maybe my English isn't as good as I thought! The mystery will astound researchers for years to come!_ "

" _I'll show you French! I'll shove a baguette up your scrawny Ivy League—_ "

She stayed herself, hands snapping out and allowing a slow breath to escape her lips.

Then she pointed at him, "Watch yourself buddy, I've got my eye on you..."

She didn't break contact until disappearing behind the door frame, the last thing Toshi saw was the blue strand from her pony tail bow.

He went back to unpacking his things in a haste.

It was agonizing! How would he figure his way around _that!?_ Just her presence caused him to act irrational and embellish things. He didn't know a single lick of French...

* * *

Konata had planted her head in her arms at least half an hour ago, and she was pretty convinced it had been much longer. A glance at her cell told her, yup, class technically started forty minutes ago, and Teach still wasn't here.

Kagami had to get back to her class a while ago, since between her and the rest of them, hers was the only one in session. So it really had just been Tsukasa, Miyuki and her talking about the earlier deal, until Tsukasa's boredom and Miyuki's concern for etiquette kicked in and they returned to their seats.

And she thought class dragged while Teach was talking.

"Man, this blows..." her chin subtly elevated her head. "I just wanted to take a quick peek in on things. Since when did students showing concern for teachers become such a bad thing..."

Kagami had to be all, 'I luv skool so much, I would never spy on a teacher. Thay r the proffets uv r generation. Skool is luv, skool is life~'

But, ya know, maybe she was right. It wasn't any of their business, and it would only be more work and trouble on her shoulders to go through with what she had in mind.

She thought about this a few minutes before she withdrew her PZP and had some fun with that, until the class door slid open.

' _Wow...everyone shut up real quick._ '

Teach didn't look so hot. Her bangs put some ultimate drama shade over her face, and she had this whole vengeance vibe going. It was like that time when Lu[ _crrk!_ ]y escaped the experimentation base near Kamakura.

She took the podium and raised her head.

"Hey everyone! It seems things got a little out of control for a while there and we're just a _little_ late getting started." She smoothed a hand behind her head, "Boy, do I feel foolish for making your first class of the New Year so deadpan, and I humbly apologize. Before we continue I just want to say a few things—"

 _Bing~ Bong~ Bing~ Bong~_

' _Guess that's it._ '

Students began leaving their seats for the ten minute break.

 _WHAM!_

Everyone immediately sat down.

Teach's hand made some critical contact with the podium! That face she was making was a little scary too.

"Now, you kids know the rules. Even when the bell rings, class isn't over until I say it's over."

Makes sense everyone responded the way they did, after seeing her go ballistic earlier.

"There is something that I think you all should remember, and I think this is something all of you should keep in mind at your early age, when you're so close to breaking out into the world."

She was tapping on that podium an awful lot...

"You all know that it is taught we should be kind to each other, to lend a helping hand to strangers in need, to _feed_ the _homeless_ , and matters of that sort, right? Goood~ These are necessary for the positive building of moral code and personal morale. But what is more important is the _selfless_ —"

 _Bamph_

"—improvement of another's _life—_ "

 _Bamph!_

"And also, we are taught not to judge a book by its cover. This is a very good lesson in life, because many _things_ —"

 _Bamph!_

"—are not as they _seem!_ "

 _BAMPH!_

"—and this is wise to know. Because we can never know what's around the corner, or what one's story is."

' _Teach...wh-what's with the ethics lesson...?_ '

"However, it's also judgmental to believe that everyone is aware of this. Nobody's perfect, and it's only natural to see someone dressed a certain way, behaving in a certain manner, and to assume, I'm sorry, to rationalize that they are what they appear to be. A fireman is a fireman, a _business man_ —"

 _BAMPH!_

"—is a _business man!_ —"

 _BAMPH!_

"—a _li-brarian_ is a _li-brarian_ —"

 _BAMPH! BAMPH!_

"—and so on and so forth..."

' _Uhh, does this have something to do with the Shrink...?_ '

"So no matter what you do, wherever you go, always expect the unexpected, at all times~! Never, ever, let your guard down. It's a cruel world out there, kids. And if you ever see a pathetic, drunken, homeless, phony, derelict on the road, make sure he's asleep when you approach him, and after _giving_ him _something_ to _eat!_ —"

 _BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH!_

"—out of the _kindness_ of your _heart!_ —"

 _BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH!_

"— _don't!—_ Under any circumstances...look back _when - he - talks - to - you._ "

 _BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH!_

" _You - run - like - hell!_ "

' _Whoa!_ '

 _BAMPH!BAMPH!BAMPH!BAMPH!BAMPH!BAMPH!..._

' _It comes down to a combo attack after all!_ '

Everybody was freaked out! Man, Teach was really going at it. That things HP must be -25 by now! Something must have really pissed her off.

Kona looked to Tsukasa, who just happened to be doing the same.

That look on her face had, 'Kona-chan...I'm scared...' written all over it.

Miyuki was looking her way as well, with a dainty hand over awestruck moe liiips~!

It looked like 'teach-dot-exe' was no longer functioning correctly, and it was about time to run a repair program. It would have to wait until later.

Konata sat quiet and continued to observe as Teach tuckered herself out, panting.

She sniffled, ' _Rest in peace, Podium-chan~..._ '

* * *

"So, you know what happened during sixth period, right?"

"Uh, yeah, everyone in my class was staring at the back wall."

The girls convened in front of the school once classes were over.

Konata had to try her shot at soothing Tsukasa's terror before the next class began, assuring her they were going to get to the bottom of things, though it was hit or miss. Meh...

Miyuki seemed to be very quiet, which meant she was either thinking about things, or trying to forget that Teach had gone just a little bit psycho a few hours ago. Best bet was, it was the first one...or so she hoped...

"Um, how were you guys dealing with that?" Kagami asked.

"Wellll..."

Miyuki continued staring at her shoes, like no one else was here.

Tsukasa whimpered and said, "Oh, I was fine sis, n-no big..."

' _What a brave little soldier you are, Tsukasa..._ '

Kona figured she probably wasn't so bad with the consoling stuff. Come to think of it, maybe she could be a psychologist.

"Well that's good," Kagami smiled for once. "Everyone in my room couldn't stop talking about what happened. Some people already think Kuroi-sensei's losing it."

"About that," Kona voiced. "I really think we should give it a second chance."

"Give what a second chance?"

"I second Konata-chan's proposal!" Miyuki burst.

"I-I-I third!" Tsukasa stumbled.

" _What!?_ " Kagami lurched back.

"Kagami, it's no big for you, since Teach isn't in your room, but we don't know if this is going to keep happening or not. That Shrink guy showed up, Teach starts acting all crazy, and now everything feels like it's a big mess."

"What are you talking about?"

"The _battlefield_ , Kagami!"

"Now you're making less sense."

"That big old tiff that Teach and the Shrink had. It's got to have more meaning!"

"Uh-uh, no way! You can't be serious!"

"We have to know what's going on, Kagami~"

"I-I think Kona's right..." Tsukasa murmured. "I kinda' wanted to know too..."

"I as well," Miyuki lowered her guilty head. "I was curious as to why their differences would conjure such aggression between them..."

Kagami tried to make sense of things again.

"Guys, can't you see you're probably making a bigger deal out of this than it already is? It's only the first day things were like this! C'mon, it's only temporary, you'll see! They...just had a minor disagreement...a-and they're working things out...but it's just a little change! Nothing to lose your heads over."

Tsukasa edged up to her, "Sis...you didn't see it...you heard it, but you didn't see it...the horror...it was...so scary..."

"It was..." Miyuki sighed.

"C'mon Kagami," Kona pleaded. "I know how you like school so much. Think of how it would be for you if [ _woof!_ ]-sensei started acting all weird and making everyone uncomfortable."

" _You're_ making _me_ uncomfortable! Would you two back up, you're freakin' me out!"

Kona and Tsukasa got out of Kagami's face and gave her a chance to recover.

She patted her chest and breathed, "I don't know that the three of you are rationalizing this well enough."

"That's where you're wrong Kagami."

"Oh yeah...?"

"Miyuki."

Miyuki stepped forward, with dainty, curled fingers close to her chin, "Upon further contemplation, after the events of today, I can only deduce that things will continue in their current, set pattern. If Tanaka-sensei truly causes Kuroi-sensei to react in such a way, I can only imagine it will affect the nature of matters in days to come. This pattern will only cause the situation to spiral out of control, and I fear that Kuroi and Tanaka-sensei will do things they will only regret later, as a result..."

"No way!" Kagami held up a hand in disbelief. "You were on my side just a few hours ago!"

" _Hm~_ " Konata smirked. "It seems just a little incentive can change anyone's mind."

"Alright, what did you do to them?" she glanced at the other two.

"Nothin'. They came to me after it was all over."

Kagami looked pretty worried, guess she was interested after all.

"If you don't want to go along with this, I won't force you. I've got all the reinforcements I need right here," Kona added.

Kagami looked like she was thinking really hard. She was cute, even when she did that.

She sighed, "Hhh~ alright...someone has to be around to make sure you don't take it too far."

"Ohh~? Are you sure it's not because you want to know more about Shrink?"

"Would you cut it out, already!? I said I'm in!"

"Kagami's cute when she's all embarrassed~"

"Shut up! I just agreed, didn't I!? Why are you trying to push me away now!?"

"Now that that's out of the way, I think I have something in mind that will get things rolling."

"I can only imagine just how convoluted this little plan of yours is going to be..."

"It's pretty simple...at first. But everything has to be done in an exact order."

"Isn't there a particular method to this plan? You usually just run wild with your fantasies and do whatever works. That's not the best mindset to have with something like this. What's your first idea?"

"Recon~"

 **AN:** I want to thank everyone for their support thus far. And thank you for critiquing my accuracy on portraying the girls, I hoped I was getting them right. Shows like this have amazing characterization. I've been very busy lately with my LN and school, but I should be able to get back to this soon enough. Chapter 4 is already in the making. Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4: Therapy

Toshi was in his office the next day. He had managed to arrange everything the way he liked it, which left him with not much else to do.

Seated in his chair again, feet kicked on the desk, twiddling his thumbs, it began bugging him that he might have missed something. No one had called him or stopped by to give him a memo. Aside from an automated email from the main office as a welcome to him, a few from his Human Resources representative, who just happened to have a Bachelor's in Psychology herself, and Payroll, to make sure he had his forms in order and was liking his new office, he had not received any orders of action.

This was when he took it upon himself to call the principal. He had to look like he had the school's best interests at heart.

'Sir, I've finished setting everything up. Is there something else you need me to do?"

'You do what you do, and we'll do what we do.'

'But sir.'

'It's been a while since we've had a counselor here, so it's likely the students have forgotten a little about that resource. If there are any who have something they wish to talk about, they should stop by. All I can say is be willing to check your faculty email account on and off campus, because you may receive appointment requests that way too.'

'Okay, that makes sense...'

'Other than that, find something to occupy your time, and I'm sure a few will come along.'

'B-But—'

'I gotta' be at a meeting soon to discuss some kind of variety expansion on the vending machines that Resources brought up. Just hang tight there, kiddo.'

'O-okay...have a good day sir...'

That had been his status report.

He folded his hands behind his head again and kicked back.

"I really should have brought my PC speakers...guess I could buy new ones and use the old ones from home..."

 _Tok tok tok_...

There was a knock at the door.

"Oh! One already?"

Toshi set his feet on the floor, straightened his lab coat, checked if he had spilled tea or breakfast anywhere on himself, checked for any odd smells, scanned his desk quickly for anything out of place, folded his hands and looked towards the door.

"Come in~"

The door clicked open.

His first client was a female student. She had orange hair with long curls down to her shoulders, a bobby pin just above her ear, and a broad bang across her forehead. From how she walked, he could tell she carried herself with a level of status and might be a member of the 'in-crowd' here, with many friends. If this were the case, she would likely be talking about a personal issue with a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, a dispute between her friends, or a troubling situation with a parent.

"Please, come in."

"Hello."

When she greeted him, the corners of her mouth twitched up a little, with a slight wrinkling around the eyes. Obvious signs of holding back a smile or laugh. Maybe she was here to talk about something positive. At this point, anyone's guess would be as good as his.

"Take a seat."

"Alright..."

She had a paper in her hands, and held it to her lap after being seated.

Now she was going out of her way to avoid eye contact with him, and continued to stare at the paper. It was obvious she was trying to hide something. Maybe she wasn't sure if she was ready to say anything about it.

Suddenly, she thrust the paper up for him to see.

"I want you to look at this!"

"Wh-What?"

His eyes scanned over it. He took it and looked closer.

"Is this...intermediate geometry?"

"Advanced."

"Why do you want me to look at this?"

"Look at questions three, twenty-seven and thirty-two."

"Umm..."

He scanned the entire test, front to back. It was fifty questions, and the three she listed were the only ones marked wrong, and of those, one was only marked half wrong because she misplaced a symbol in relaying how to answer it, but still got the answer right, so it only counted as an absentminded mistake. She still passed with an A.

"I-I'm not sure I follow. Why don't you tell me the nature of your problem?"

"Can't you see!? [ _chirp!chiiirp!_ ]-sensei totally has it out for me!"

"I don't know this [ _crrk!_ ]-sensei, yet. What do you mean by that?"

"I-I think he's trying to fail me..." she stared at her hands while wringing them on top of her knees.

"Well, what have your other grades been like in his class?"

She hesitated and then made a hasty answer, "N-not good!"

"Not good, how...?"

"Umm," she touched her chin and looked to the side. Then painted on a worried look and faced him, "I have a C!"

The last time he took a math course was in his second year at Colorado State University, and he even struggled with that. Math wasn't his strength, but he could tell none of this was adding up. He didn't want to offend her and create a bad name for himself, but this was really fishy.

He looked at the name on the assignment, "Masuda-san, have you talked with [ _tx!tx!_ ]-sensei about this?"

"No! You see, that's why I came to you. I'm afraid if I went to him, he might make it worse for me."

"O-kay...but you do realize it's against school policy for a sensei to actively mis-grade a student's assignments in order to lower their class rank..."

"Uh...yeah..."

"And that [ _woof!_ ]-sensei could likely lose his job and positive reputation as a cost..."

She fidgeted and turned a little somber, "...yeah..."

"So this wouldn't really be a case for me, it would be for Human Resources or the Principle."

She nodded at her lap, "Mhm..."

"You seem bothered by that."

She snapped up and waved her arms frantically, " _I-I mean!_ I don't want anything bad to happen to [ _oo!_ ]-sensei at all! I just want to figure _this_ out! Yeah!"

"Um...alright...have you experienced stressful sensations when you receive these...'negative' grades?"

"Uh, yeah!"

Toshi nodded without taking his eyes off her, "Do they make you feel...inferior in any sort of way."

"O-oh yeah! It just drives me _crazy_."

"Uh...huh...would you say that you harbor any...obsessions over these grades?"

"I think so..."

"Do these obsessions result in compulsions of any sort?"

"Is that a disorder of some kind?" she didn't look too troubled to say this.

"Obsessive Compulsive Disorder."

"Yeah, that! I think I have that," she nodded, with a smile...

After getting over his frozen look of perplexity, he rolled his hands in a gesture, "Wwwhat do you do when you receive these feelings of inferiority...?"

"Um, well...I, uhh..." Then her expression perked up, "I guess I set it aside for a while. It's not like I can fix it right now, ya know? And I look forward to my next chance."

"Right..."

"I really like going shopping with my friends...to uh, _get my mind off it_. That's right! I also really like going to the movies, and taking walks through the park. And I really like the beach too! Just like you, Tanaka-sensei!" she beamed.

His expression dimmed, his head hung limp to the side.

"T...Tanaka-sensei...?"

When he managed to lift himself out of it, he folded his fingers on the surface of his desk.

"Masuda-san, it doesn't seem you have any issues that would be problematic here. You don't show or express the classic symptoms of someone with OCD. You're a healthy girl, and it sounds like you deal with the situation in a healthy manner. I would advise that if you do have any _real_ problems with your grades, take them up with the school or a tutor. Otherwise, if you continue to handle the situation like you have been, I think you'll do fine."

This provoked Masuda to squirm in her chair, blush spreading across her face, hands clasped together and swinging side to side.

"Tee-hee, kaaay~!"

Toshi handed her a clipboard with a log for her to sign with her name, student ID, the time she came in and time she left. He handed her test back and she stood to leave.

"Tanaka-sensei~" her voice flourished. "Can I come back in the future if I have something else I want to talk about?"

He adjusted his glasses rigidly and sighed, "If you have a matter you wish to discuss, I can't deny you as a patient, but there might be others who require my time as well, so I only ask that it doesn't take longer than an hour..."

She smiled brightly again, "Hmm~ kaaay~"

The door clicked shut.

Toshi leaned back in his chair and pinched between his eyes, "What did I miss with that one...there was nothing _to_ miss because there was _nothing there_..."

' _A 'C' student huh? Yeah, and I'm Jean Piaget..._ '

He looked toward the stack of blank patient forms and folders by his desktop.

"Guess I should write this one down..."

 _Tok tok tok..._

"Guess it'll have to wait... It's open!"

Another female student. This one had dark brown hair tied in low hanging pig tails, and round glasses.

"Please, take a seat."

"I've been fighting a lot with my mother..." she murmured before even sitting down.

She just came in the door and already confessed what was bothering her without any coaxing at all!

"Uhh...okay, so what are these fights over, usually?"

"W-well..." she placed a fist near her chin and stared at her knees. "O-one time she overcooked my eggs..."

 _5 minutes later..._

"...So you see, in order for any real conflict to continue like this, there have to be negative consistencies. Have you considered that it may be something you're doing? Or is it possible she's been too invasive or controlling?"

She had been staring at him the entire time, mouth gaping, eyes glistening.

"I suppose so~" that expression didn't change.

"Have you tried talking to her about this?"

Her head tipped down to where Toshi could no longer see her face, and her shoulders began quivering.

He stood, "I-I'm sorry, did I say something that upset you?"

She whipped up, exposing a bright smile, "Hehehehahaha!"

His expression turned dull.

"It's nothing, heehee~" she wiped an eye under her lenses. "I actually love my mom and we get along great! And she never overcooks my eggs. She taught me everything I know about cooking."

"Family bonds are always the strongest..." Toshi droned.

"Do you like stuffed animals?" she asked, excitedly changing her tune. "I love them! Is that normal?"

Toshi blinked dimly, "Normal is a relative term...plenty of girls your age keep them, still. It's more of an opinion based subject, but I don't see anything wrong with adults keeping them either..."

"Thank you Tanaka-sensei~!" she swooned. "Could I bring you one sometime? As a thanks? Or would you prefer a figurine?"

He had to put on a positive face for this, "Y-Yeah! Sure..."

"Yay~! I'll bring you a cute little one you can put on your desk! Thanks again Tanaka-sensei!"

Toshi removed his glasses and rubbed his face, "Please fill out the appointment log before you leave..."

* * *

"Wow, there's a whole bunch of 'em over there!" Kona peeked around the corner.

"It appears everyone is very interested in meeting Tanaka-sensei," Miyuki murmured.

"It's kinda' exciting," Tsukasa peeked.

"Ugh, look at them," Kagami fumed and crossed her arms. "Getting all googly eyed over a new faculty member. Is it really that big of a deal?"

Konata smirked broadly, "C'mon Kagami! Now's your time to shine!"

She grabbed her arm with both hands and began tugging.

 _Rrrrrrrrgh~_

" _No! No, Konata! I don't wanna'! Let go! I'm not ready! Stop it!..._ "

"Hm-hm-hm~ _Hm~!_ "

She let go and shot for the demanding approach.

"C'mon, Sergent at Arms, get over there and show 'em what you're made of! Dazzle him with your intelligence and womanly whiles~"

Kagami smoothed her sleeve out, "If anything, _you're_ the Sergent, with as little attention you pay to _actual school work_. Why don't you do it!? It was you're idea from the beginning!"

"Yeah, Kona-chan," Tsukasa leaned. "You're so good at talking to others—"

"When you're not talking about games and manga..."

"—I think you'll do fine."

"Mmmph..." Kona grumbled, her eyes shutting with a bland expression.

"I agree, Konata-chan," Miyuki added. "You possess the social skills for this sort of scenario that would benefit our endeavor."

"Mmm-alright, fine, I'll do it..."

As she began walking away from the group, Kagami's voice rose up behind her.

"Don't overdo it, shorty, or ya might scare him off."

" _Mrr!_ "

* * *

 _Later..._

 _Tok tok tok_

This one had golden hair tied back in a curled pony tail.

 _"_ There's this boy that I like..."

"Are you having trouble approaching him?"

"Kinda'..."

"Do you know his name?"

"Sure~"

"Does he attend this school?"

"Not really..."

"What do you like about him?"

"He's kind, and sensitive, and listens really well..."

"How much time have you been able to spend with him?"

"Not a lot..."

"Okay, I would suggest spending more time with him and getting to know his name. You can manage to overcome your fears of connecting with him if you push yourself a little. The more you do this, you'll get used to it, and the fear will go away."

"Okay..."

"..."

"..."

"Does he go to any schools?"

"Not really..."

"Is he employed?"

"Kinda'..."

"Where does he work?"

"I dunno'~"

' _DOES HE EVEN EXIST!?_ '

 _Later..._

 _Tapity-tap tap-tap!_

This one was very open, athletic, with dark skin, a big mane of hair and a wild appeal.

"Hiya, Mister Psyche dude~!"

"Hello, please come in."

She sat down with an ankle folded under her thigh and both hands planted on her leg. She looked like she would have been comfortable sitting on the floor and walking through grass in her bare feet.

"So is it true you can read people's minds n' stuff!? What am I thinking about right now~?" she smirked.

"Ugh..."

"Nyahahaha!"

 _Later..._

 _Tok tok tok_

This one looked rather quiet. She had long black hair, dim eyes, but was tall and put together rather nicely.

She had a smooth, but monotone voice, "You said you like to go on runs..."

"Uhh..."

The hair on his neck stood up when her hand appeared from behind her back to produce a collar and leash.

"May I attach this and take you on a run?"

" _No!_ "

She stared...

"..."

Then she persisted to lean forward, shaking the collar, "Here boy..."

" _NO!_ "

 _Later..._

 _Tok tok tok_

"Hello Tanaka-sensei, I got this special, just for you~!"

Mouth open, Toshi stared at what the student had placed on his desk and pushed in front of him.

"You...bought me ice cream...in the middle of January..."

It was in a paper bowl with a spork.

"Mhm!" she nodded with glee.

She wasn't leaving...

' _Does she expect me to eat it now?_ '

It _was_ his favorite kind...

"Can I ask what spurred this?" he gawked up at her.

"No particular reason, Tanaka-sensei~ The others and I just thought it would cheer you up— _hhgh!_ "

She gasped suddenly and held a hand to her mouth.

Toshi stood, "What others?"

"Oh no! I messed it up!" she buried her face in her hands.

He stormed around his desk and flung the office door open.

There was a line of at least twenty of them along the wall just outside!

' _Why is it all girls!?_ '

After a few gasps from the jumpy ones, giggles and coos drifted up at his wide, shocked complexion.

"Can I talk with you next, Tanaka-sensei~?" "What about me? Can I have a go?" "I can't sleep at night, Tanaka-sensei! Can you suggest anything~?"

He ran a hand through his hair, digging for a way to deal with this.

"Ladies!"

The hall quieted down.

"I can appreciate your efforts to make me feel at home, really, and I'm very grateful, but I can't have anyone cramping up my schedule if there are appointments that need my attention. Casual visits are fine, but I have a schedule to keep. Now, if anyone here has has a _real_ issue that they need to speak with me about, please raise your hand."

That was a stupid request, every hand rose...

"Alright, the doctor is out!"

"Aww~!" "But whyyy~?"

"It's almost time for my lunch, so I can't take anymore appointments right now. Run along, get back to class."

With more giggles and sighs, the crowd dispersed, some running up the hall to turn and point at him, saying, "We'll be back! We know where you work!"

The one who brought him the ice cream crept out the doorway, hands close to her collar, beaming at him nervously.

"Eh heh..."

He sighed, "Don't worry, I'm not mad...go on..."

"Okay! See ya later Tanaka-sensei~!" she waved while trotting away.

He waved back absently, "Yeah, no doubt..."

If he had this kind of charisma while in high school, it would have driven him out of his mind.

He stepped back in, eyed the ice cream still on his desk, and sat down to fill out roughly a dozen appointment logs.

His pen hovered over the blank form...

' _What am I supposed to write!?'_

The students here were all...different...but not a single case of anxiety or depression to be found!

They must have been taking advantage of his vow of patient confidentiality to pick at him.

" _Ugh._ "

The pen tottered about on the surface of his desk. He picked up the paper bowl, kicking his shoes up, and shoving a scoop into his mouth.

There were standards in his field of work, but not the same standards that most believed. As long as a behavior was not harmful or threatening to others, harmful to the self, invasive or controlling, or took priority over more important matters, he could not make a case, no matter how bizarre the behavior seemed. In one way or another, people were weird, it was a simple fact they would just have to live with. As long as the individual did not feel guilt, shame, anxiety or depression because of the behavior, there was no case to be had. What mattered was that people were free, and behaved like they were free. Live well, do what makes you happy, be good to others, and very importantly, be good to yourself. As simple as it sounded, this encompassed many things. That was one of the things he loved about the basics of psychology. It emphasized common sense and individuality, and cared little about varying opinions. _You are not your thoughts_ , they are not a clear representation of who you are.

"I can't waste it, but...ice cream before lunch...?" he grumbled.

He was here for the bad-gunky stuff, those feelings of inadequacy, fear, confusion, sadness, frustration or loneliness. If he could help a few students highlight and understand their healthy behaviors better, that was good and would reduce any doubts they might have had in the future. But if there was anyone hiding a case of fear, sadness or grief, he wanted them to step forward and be known to him. A student could be harboring fears of a behavior that was healthy, that they may have misconstrued as unhealthy, based on social norms or false teaching. Another student could have become subject to peer pressure or depression, and started a behavior that was harmful. These were the ones he was most interested in, not a bunch of girls that were comfortable in their own skin.

 _Tok tok tok_

' _Another one? I told them I'm unavailable now._ '

"I'll take your appointment later, I'm eating right now."

Not the best thing to hear from a person who claimed to be open and understanding. He could easily talk to someone while eating.

 _Tok tok tok_

Maybe it was a staff member.

" _Hhh-_ Okay, come in..."

The door clicked open to reveal a short female student, with a long, thick mane of blue hair and a cowlick that hung above her head in the shape of a question mark.

She approached near one of the seats in front of his desk and bowed.

"It's nice to meet you, Shrink. I'm Konata Izumi from class B."

' _Shrink?_ '

Oh yeah, this one...he remembered now, he knew of her...

He had read up on a few student forms already, wondering if there were any problem students that he should keep an eye out for. Though Ryoo High was a fairly average school, they barely had a single problem student in the bunch, save for one guy that was caught peeking in on the girl's locker room a few times. Other than that, one of the staff members made him a list of students that tended to slack off in their studies. Still nothing that important to him. Konata's name had been on the list. Her records showed that she was a bit rambunctious and had been reported once or twice for a few pranks or antics, though she seemed a bit more regular than the others. All that aside, she was a good kid, so he couldn't see why she was here.

"I said earlier that I wasn't taking appointments until lunch was over."

She leaned forward, eying the bowl of ice cream in his hands.

"That looks like a 'mighty fine lunch' ya got there~"

 _Psh!_ "Mm!" he cringed with the spoon in his mouth. "Wh-why don't you have a seat, Izumi-san..."

With a very calm, casual feel to her, she folded her skirt and sat, avoiding the armrests to place her hands on the edges of the seat.

"So what is it you wanted to see me about?"

Konata didn't answer right away. Her head swerved in one direction and then the other, as she peered about the office, eying his degrees on the wall, his flag of the university, and the books on his shelf. Her eyes set on him.

"It's nothin' super important, really. I'm not here with a problem or anything, I just wanted to know how you're liking things so far."

His fingers had been folded above his lap while observing with intent as her large, green eyes stared straight back at him, with the occasional blink while talking. This one behaved nothing like the others.

"That's interesting of you to ask," his head pivoted to the side, eyes still on her. "You're not at all like I expected..."

She didn't seem phased by this, "Haha, what gave you that idea~?"

"I reviewed your file. I hope it's not a surprise, but I have access to every student's behavioral record, and so I wished to view the ones that might require my attention. I didn't find anything troubling, other than being late for class for short spells and bringing manga to school, your grades hover in a B average and it seems you maintain an all-around healthy attitude."

"Hmm..." she placed a finger to her lip. "I kinda' wondered what that thing said about me..."

"I was hoping someone would come in with something they wished to discuss."

"Yeah, I don't know how many of those you're gonna' find here~"

"I wasn't really hoping to take any casual visits. However, it doesn't look like I'm going to receive any serious cases anytime soon, so I'm willing to talk. I appreciate you asking."

"No prob," she smiled.

"I suppose you could say it's been an okay start. I like where I'm at and everything. I mean..."

' _Wait...I can't tell her I don't want to be here. I can't tell anyone! Not even a student! How do I get outta' this one!?_ '

Toshi realized he had been gazing at the edge of his desk, and slid out of it.

"...psychology is something I've always wanted to do with my life. I enjoy understanding what makes people tick and being able to help them out."

"I gotcha'."

"And this is a position where I can gain experience. Plus, it makes me a little nostalgic. It's a little like being back in high school all over again, seeing everyone wearing their uniforms, though I went to a different school. So, I look forward to working here."

"Yeah, I think my Teach feels the same way."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah~" she smirked. "She's always goin' on about how I need to stop gaming all the time so I can sleep more and pay attention in class, but deep down, I get the feeling she misses that about high school."

"Your sensei and you sound pretty close."

"Mmm, I guess you could say that. We talk all the time on the phone and the MMOs we play."

"Oh! She plays those?" he sat up unintentionally.

"Oh yeah! Do you play, Shrink?"

"Well..."

' _Okay, I guess it's cool that I admit that, since her sensei does it too._ '

"Y-Yeah, actually, I play them all the time, haha..." he smoothed the back of his head. "I haven't had much time to do anything else..."

' _Because money._ '

"I have two maxed out characters on E[ _crrk!]_ world and one on Dr[ _tx!tx!_ ]onhunter, but I've just been cruising around Raider's Paradise without any goal other than taking out enemy encampments..."

"Wow! Teach n' I've been playin' Raider's a lot! She actually brought that one to me."

"Oh, have you guys made it to MacDubious' Cavern yet?"

"Yup, we cleared it in two days. I thought we could have done it in one, but teach kept wanting to pull more experience."

"She's a wiz?"

"Yup, n' I'm a tanker!"

Toshi chuckled, "Heh heh, mages...So where have you gone from that point?"

"We're wandering around in the Frozen Wasteland right now. Teach is low on mana potions and my armor is needing some serious repairs. She can hold out for a while, but we need to find a place to stop fast. So we're just out there, wanderin' around, because the villages are crazy hard to find."

"You keep checking the map, don't ya?"

"Huh? You know about it?"

"Yeah, would you mind if I gave you a tip?"

She appeared to be contemplating this very intently, pinching her chin and staring at the floor.

"I suppose this once is alright."

"Okay..." he figured her for the type that wants to learn things on her own when it came to games. "The whole concept of the Frozen Wasteland is that you're not supposed to find the villages because of all the blizzards. They're small, and very spread out, but they do have necessary supplies. You know those lanterns you see randomly?"

"You mean the ones on the posts that are just sitting out in the middle of nowhere?"

"Those. Whichever direction the lantern is hanging on the post, follow it. Don't change your pace for anything, or you might knock yourself off track, stay the course until you find the next lantern. Eventually they will point you directly to a town."

She smoothed her chin, looking down again, "Can't believe I didn't see that one..."

She probably played games all the time, it was natural for her to feel at a loss.

"Thanks much, Shrink!" Konata perked up. "I'll definitely tell Teach that one!"

"Well, it's nothing special. I play a lot too, and that one had me going for a while..."

"Ya know, you should join up and play with us sometime. We would welcome you into the clan with open arms~"

"Well, I'm already with the Honey Badger Clan, which one are you?"

"Fire Claw Neko Clan~"

"Okay, I don't think they have any history of rivalry with HB, and you guys have been doing pretty well in your rankings. I think it would make a good banding together," he felt himself actually smiling for the first time in hours.

"You know it!" she looked pretty satisfied with things herself.

It had never crossed his mind that he would actually become acquainted with a student, but Toshi figured, Konata might become a rather unexpected friend.

"So if your sensei plays games all the time, and misses being a high school student, I suppose she's a little bit like you, maybe she feels nostalgia a little too."

"I guess when you put it that way, she kinda' is. I mean, I'm always the one late for class n' stuff, but she's almost never late."

"Well, it's a job for her, so she has to stay on top of that. Still, she's close with her students, she plays games~ she likes to have fun~" he felt himself drifting off. "Forgive me if I ask, I don't really have an ulterior motive, but what's she like?"

"She's actually about your age~ But I know..." a mischievous smirk spread across her face. "When the holidays come around, she kinda' burns out near the end, if ya know what I mean."

"Gaming too close to the end of the break. Yeah, I've done that~" Toshi smiled, thinking back to high school _and_ college.

"Yeah, she was late yesterday because of it."

' _Wait..._ '

Her height? The blue hair? That cowlick!? Was she one of the students the blond ditz yelled at!?

Toshi curved his head a little, peering at her and speaking in a low tone, "You say she was late for the ceremony...?"

"Uh-ohhh..."

Toshi was out of his seat and pointing at her in a moment.

"Y-Y-You were one of the students that dit- _I mean_ -woman yelled at!?"

"Yeah sure, but it wasn't anything serious~" The blue haired girl remained calm.

"Th-that's not what I mean! She's the one you've been talking about all this time!?"

"Well, yeah, I thought it was obvious."

He flung his hands skyward, "No! No! There was nothing obvious about anything you said! You were ambiguous about the whole thing!"

"Chill out, man~ Is it really that big a deal?"

The way she said 'Uh-oh' earlier clued him in. This was a ploy. He didn't know what, but this kid was up to something.

Toshi quietly flopped back in his seat, arms on the rests, head lowered.

"Izumi-san...this has been a nice conversation, and I thank you for taking time out of your day to get to know me...but I must kindly ask you to leave now, and never return to talk about this issue again...and I'm sorry, but the banding together of our clans is not possible...I'll ask that you respect my wishes, it seems no one else will..."

There was silence from her end, and he didn't look up to see if this had affected her in any way, though it burned him to imagine her face in tears, as unbelievable as it may be for someone like her.

"Sure," she didn't sound bothered at all.

Toshi raised his head swiftly to see her headed for his office door.

Before closing it, she stopped.

"I don't know much about any of this psych stuff. You seem pretty good at it, though. But I do know, from a lifetime of being a prankster, whatever causes someone to react like that, usually means they're pretty focused on it."

She took a moment to bow.

"Sorry for causin' ya so much trouble, Shrink."

 _Ka-jm..._

Toshi leaned into his hand.

' _I was had by a prankster...I should have seen it coming, what with her record...Doctor_ [ _quack!_ ] _would laugh me out of the room for this..._ '

* * *

[More to be added]


End file.
